Mondays aren't so bad.

Mondays are a crazy blur of discombobulated oxymoronic organized chaos.  Oh my word, it's not easy getting 6 people out of bed, dressed, fed, and hair "done" for school photos. (You know, "done", as in actually brushed and then rebrushed 14 times before we leave the house, not including the additional hair Mulligans on the way to school.) 

It's even more difficult to grab 4 backpacks (one on wheels because my oldest has to bring ALL her curriculum with her for the school day), a canvas bookbag crammed to full-over with teacher guides, tin whistles and more, a lunchbox full of drink bags, and the day's potluck donation. Add 3 swim bags and a purse that could rival a crane ball as a weapon, and you get a glimpse into the crazy pace of it all.  But "it all" is our life, and truth be told, we kind of like it a tad chaotic. Okay sure, could do without the tin whistles serenading us "cacophany style" down the road, uh hem, but other than that, it's reeeally okay.

Before we know it, my husband and I will have that quiet house we almost wish for (before we push the thought away, knowing it will slither silently upon us all too soon). So for now, we drink in our Mondays as sweet as a gift from God himself, because we know that they truly are.  Hubs spends his morning in our 5 year old's kindergarten class, while I spend mine in our 9 and 10 year olds' class.  I excuse myself for an hour of their class time so I can attend Latin class with my 13 year old. I do love me some Latin. Salve!

I'm so thankful to be able to attend school with my children; to be surrounded by like-minded families who are there to edify and encourage one another's children in their academic and personal endeavors. I'm thankful for the tudors and the many mandatory hours of training they participate in on behalf of my children and the other children in our school. I'm thankful for the leadership of our wonderful director too. And at the end of the day, I'm thankful that 6 people, 4 backpacks, a lunchbox, and a wrecking ball purse make their way back to our aging van so we can grab an early dinner and settle in to an evening of swim practice at the natatorium.  The ebb and flow of family life is exhaustingly exhilerating (that's alliteration, by the way) and I wouldn't trade it for any other life. Okay, Martha Stewart's might be a teensy bit tempting. Just sayin'.

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Evidence of (His) Love

"Open your eyes
And look upon the handiwork of God
Open your soul
And feel the breath of glory all around
For everywhere there's evidence of love."
~First Call

Our homeschool week (our family week, for that matter) goes from Tuesday to Saturday, as hubby has Sunday/Monday off from work. Today, therefore, was our first day "back at it" after our vacation. I begin school promptly at 8am each day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I must break away at 9am to drive my youngest to preschool (5 minutes away) while my oldest assists her younger siblings with their spelling lesson.

As I drove my youngest to preschool today, I couldn't help but drink in the absolute lovliness of yet another blessed Indian summer day here in central Indiana. The sun is shining, the temperatures are mildly warm (going up to 80º today), and a gentle breeze is blowing. Truly, everywhere I looked, my eyes were rewarded with the handiwork of God.

Sunshine.

Blue skies.

And color. Glorious, wonderous, rich hues of autumn.

Golden yellows.
Fire reds.
And my own personal favorite, blazing orange.
All this color against the remnant background of the greens of summer.

As I pulled into my parking space at the school, my eye caught sight of a gentle swaying movement in front of me. I looked up and was rewarded with the most soothing sight; a tree yielding to the moment of transition from one of life's seasons to the next; yielding ever so gracefully as, gem by golden gem, it surrendered one falling leaf after another, ever so slowly. I was mesmorized for the moment, my senses truly engulfed by the gift. And it was that, a gift, straight from the hand of God.

I would encourage you, as you take in these last days of fabulous fall color too, to not miss the gift within the gift within the gift. First, we are given God's color palate to behold, painted by His most creative hand on all the trees of fall. But the gift doesn't end there. Do not miss the beauty of leaves fallen, a delicate blanket of color resting on the ground below, or floating gently on the surface of a pond or river nearby. And finally, be sure to hear the message of fall; that yielding to the seasons of our lives can be done with grace and beauty; that to everything under heaven, there is a season and a purpose. God is in the details.

Are you embracing the blessings of the particular season you find yourself in at this moment? Is it possible you are missing some of its unique beauty by clinging to a season now past? Like a lone withered leaf clinging to a bare tree of winter, so can we be when we fail to yield to a new season of life with grace. I'm not trained as a preacher so I assure you, no preaching intended. I would be the first to admit to "lone leaf" status at times, and therefore this is an encouragement borne of experience.

As First Call so perfectly stated, "Open your eyes and look upon the handiwork of God....for everywhere there's evidence of love."

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Why?

Suffering is by far one of the greatest challenges made to the Christian faith.

"Why?
Why would a loving God allow so much suffering in the world?"

I have been reading Lee Strobel's The Case For Faith for a long time now. It's not one of those books you pick up and read, page after page, chapter after chapter, "The end." No, this one requires a stillness before God, a time of deep reflection on small chunks of very meaty food for thought. And tonight, in light of what has happened in my extended family, I was prompted to revisit parts of the book which I have already read, specifically the parts on suffering.

My cousin is a wife and mother of three who lives in Florida. Growing up, she and her family always lived within just a few streets of our home. And with the exception of my Mom's brother and his wife, this cousin and her family were the only extended family living nearby.

My cousin's health has been a struggle for her for years, the past two years being extremely challenging to the point of deciding on hospice care recently. She is young at only age 40. And she is beautiful. She is a wife. And she is a wonderful mother. Her children are amazing young people. The oldest just completed her first year in college and the middle child just graduated highschool.

And her baby,...her baby was just fourteen.
He very unexpectedly passed away two days ago.
At fourteen (I can't seem to wrap my mind around that).
And now so many people who loved him and his family are left wondering why.

In Strobel's book, he cites Peter Kreeft (author, Making Sense Out of Suffering) giving the example of a bear caught in a trap and a hunter who compassionately desires to free him. The hunter tries to win the bear's confidence but cannot, so he has to tranquilize him in order to do so. The bear receives this as an attack, not realizing that the additional pain was meant to save him, that it was in fact an act of compassion. The hunter even has to push the bear further into the trap to release the spring mechanism, causing him even further pain. If the bear is conscious at this point, he believes the hunter desires to make him suffer, which is the wrong conclusion.

When human beings are exposed to great suffering, we often have no greater ability to understand God than the bear had to understand the motivation of the hunter, states Kreeft. Pondering this, I conclude that believers must unpretentiously believe. And while I have perhaps made the simplest conclusion, it also requires perhaps the greatest resolve in times of great trial.

Strobel also credits British pastor John R.W. Scott with these words;
"I could never myself believe in God, if it were not for the cross...in the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?...He entered our world of flesh and blood, tears and death. He suffered for us. Our sufferings become more manageable in light of His."

As my heart breaks for my cousin and her family tonight, as I feel deeply concerned for each one of them and what their already tired hearts and minds can handle, I am purposing to believe for them. And I am asking every brother and sister in Christ that I know, to stand in the gap for them in prayer and to join me in the belief that our God is good and sovereign, that He deeply cares about the enormous suffering which my cousin and her family are enduring now, that He loves them and has entered into their pain with them, that He reigns victorious over the grave.

Join me in prayer, won't you?
The Faulkner and Watson families need us to believe with them and for them.

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Open my eyes, Lord

Yesterday was one of those days.

One of those days when, in His gracious provision, my Heavenly Father removed the veil that sometimes blurs my ability to fully see the blessing of a moment in time. I think you might know what I'm talking about. Anyone who has ever sat down to flip through the pages of a treasured family photo album surely must know.

It goes something like this.
You revisit the past and the sweet memories fill your mind and flood your heart.
First steps.
First foods.
Carefree days of summer.
Little ones with little feet.
Fireworks and fireflies.
Loved ones in your midst and loved ones in your heart.
Flooded. Your heart fills absolutely flooded with nostalgia.

Why is it that we feel so intensely in retrospect?
Why does it seem much more challenging to grasp the beauty and signficance of a moment when in real time?
Wouldn't it be sweeter if we could fully experience the wonder of a moment, I mean fully experience it as it is unfolding?

I don't really know why that is.
Perhaps it's like an antique clock.
There's something so beautiful about the softness of its curved lines contrasted with the enduring hardwood form.
And as it captures the minutes and hours and subsequently counts them away, you are not so riveted about the reminder that "time marches on" so much as you are comforted by the lull of the soothing rhythm.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Perhaps "real time" moments are like that, lulling us with a rhythm that, while soothing, perhaps blur our ability to truly feel the significance and wonder of that particular point in time.

Perhaps.

But I do know this.
My Heavenly Father holds time, all of it, securely in His grasp. And I've come to realize that every now and then He allows me the fullest glimpse of the beauty of a moment, if only for a moment.
No hazy veil.
No photo required to capture it.

And yesterday was one of those days.

As my children played with friends on the playground, I was given a rare chance to sit down on a park bench in glorious sunshine and low humidity. I enjoyed the pleasure of an empty schedule, a light breeze, youthful smiles and giggles. I got to witness other moms lovingly attending to their children. And I got to enjoy a few minutes of conversation with a sweet friend from church whom I don't often get to sit and chat with (she has seven children of her own).

And it occurred to me that I was there.
Fully present.
God was allowing me the gift and privilege of real time awareness.
One of those rare moments where I wouldn't need a photograph to "remember the good old days." I was in the good old days with every sense of my being, taking a wonderful moment in with deep breaths of gratitude.
And it was beautiful.
Fullfilling.
Peace.

An Australian Aboriginal proverb said it this way:
"We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home."

And God's living Word, alive and present in me, says it so perfectly like this:
"The LORD bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Oh my goodness, I'm so grateful to Courtney over at Women Living Well for sharing this GEM of a video with me.
It is soooooo worth watching.
And the book is definitely on my list of "to be read."
Watch and be inspired!

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Adoption Sunday

My husband and I were asked if we would be interested in speaking about our adoption experience as part of our church's "Adoption Sunday" service yesterday. Our pastor desired, through our stories (ours, as well as othersin our church body whose lives have been touched by adoption) to bring greater understanding to us regarding what it means to be adopted as sons and daughters into the body of Christ.
Talk about adoption? You bet.
It's obviously near and dear to my heart so I was immediately on board. My husband had to work, so it would be up to me to speak on our behalf.

I began with how we came to the decision to adopt, which unlike many Christian couples, was not based on a calling we felt God had placed on our hearts. Rather, we felt lead, through our personal circumstances, to
-open our home to children in foster care,
-to help families in crisis,
-and to adopt if God desired us to do so.
In that order.

I went on to explain that, through various circumstances over time, God showed us His will for us regarding family. Some doors were opened, while others closed, all while He moved us forward to what He ultimately had in store for us, a family formed through adoption. It was kind of like seeing a puzzle come together, realizing how each "piece" fit in a specific way to form something wonderful.

I was asked, too, to share how adoption blessed us as a family. The obvious answer to that is that we get to be called "Mom" and "Dad" by four of God's precious children, yes? Definitely, YES!

But there were other blessings I mentioned as well. The blessing of greater patience, for example. During the years in which we waited on God to show us when, how and if we would have a family, I often felt as though He were asking me, "Am I enough?" God definitely taught me patience while I waited.

And we've grown in compassion too. Compassion for other couples struggling with fertility challenges. Compassion for single women who wonder if God will bless them with a loving marriage and family. Compassion for families in crisis. Compassion for the children in those families.

I closed by mentioning the old Wayne Watson lyrics that stated, "God aint gonna stay in the little box I put Him in." Our mighty God is soooo much bigger than the box we often try to squeeze Him into. And I believe that God defines family in a similar way. Biological families are a beautiful part of His design, but they are not the only way He forms families (consider Jesus growing up as Joseph's son, for example). His definition is soooo much bigger than biology.

And so I'll leave you with the same closing thoughts I shared in church today.
Have you opened your heart to the possibility of loving outside the box?
My husband and I have never regretted capturing God's vision for us regarding family. And we want to encourage you to consider God's "bigger than the box" view if you too are feeling pulled toward adoption.
If you have ever been curious about it, if your heart has ever been stirred to consider it, or if you find yourself in a situation of childlessness and you desire a family, will you fully open yourself to where God may desire to lead you?
Because sometimes when we lay down our plans, our will, or our hearts desire and simply walk with Him, He reveals unforseen beauty and purpose beyond our wildest dreams.

Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Gratitude (Thanksgiving prelude)

HOORAY!
My most favorite holiday of the year is officially on the horizon.
I absolutely l-o-v-e Thanksgiving.
I love everything about it.

I love the handwritten letter my mom snail-mailed me back in 2005 when we had to move out of state and away from family due to a job displacement. At that time, my husband had spent every single Thanksgiving with me and my family since 1982, the year we started dating.
There I was in another state, and to say that I had NO IDEA how to plan and prepare for a full Thanksgiving meal was an understatement.
Not only had I never cooked a turkey in my entire life, but nary a pumpkin pie either.

Mom rescued me.

She wrote down an entire Thanksgiving grocery list, a day-by-day plan of advance preparations, and how to pull it all together on the big day. I still follow that plan every single year. And yes, I absolutely do pull out that handwritten list, written lovingly by my mom, as my guide.

So, what else do I so dearly love about Thanksgiving?

• breaking bread with my kids for homemade stuffing, and placing it on a very old, retro-print tablecloth that my grandmother sewed for her home so many years ago


• being at the center of my family; homemaker and home manager, wife and mother


• the smell of turkey as it roasts in the oven


• the Macy's Day thanksgiving parade (wouldn't miss it for the world)


• my children, all bed-headed, as they sit in pj's to take in the first hour of parades before scampering off to change into comfortable clothes for the day


• the muted straw-yellow appearance of the land before winter takes hold and forces us all into a slower time of reflection and togetherness


• the quiet calm that comes to the normally busy road that I can see from our backyard window


• the glow of lights in other homes, knowing that families are gathered together as they should be


• my husband's presence near me, as he relaxes in the overstuffed eggplant-colored recliner he received on Father's day


• the roar of the crowd as football entertains later in the day


• heaping whipped cream on homemade pumpkin pies


• bringing out our special dishes that belonged to my mother-in-law who sadly passed away in 1995


• Seeing my family enjoying the meal I so enjoyed preparing for them

Thanksgiving, to me, is a day when I am able to really reflect on what matters most. It's not about traveling or shopping. It's not about anything in the way of materialism at all. It's glass half full, seeing the blessings that are a part of my life because God the Father loves me so much that He lovingly gave them to me. How special it is to me to have an entire day to simply reflect on that and to surround myself with the reality of it. A day to thank Him for what I am able to reflect on.

To that end, I want to share an idea with you, one that requires minimum effort on your part but yields maximum impact.

Consider starting a Gratitude jar for your family.

Here's all you have to do:

1. Decide on a small container with a lid. The medium size Yankee candle jars are perfect for this project, but you could use any pretty jar with a fitted lid, or even a small, pretty box-shaped tin.


2. Add any decorative elements you desire. If you're a scrapbooker, this will be easy and fun. Wrap it in your favorite paper and add some dimensional elements to the lid, like flowers. Non-scrappers, you could tie a simple ribbon around the neck of the jar and simply attach a handprinted "Gratitude" tag. Or you might even purchase some letter stickers to spell "Gratitude" directly on your jar. You can find examples HERE and HERE.


3. Place some small strips of paper and a pen by the jar, and place it in a convenient location, one where all family members have access to it.


4. Each day, encourage your family members to jot down something they're thankful for from the past year and place it in the jar. You might alternate family members each day if you have a larger family, to keep the number of notes in the jar manageable.


5. On Thanksgiving Day, include the jar as part of your table decorating. When your meal is over and pie is served, take turns pulling out a slip and reading it to the family.

See? What did I tell you? Thanksgiving is a most wonderful day to reflect on all the blessings God brings forth in our lives. The gratitude jar is a simple way to bring due focus to those blessings as a family.

Oh, and by the way, these jars make meaningful gifts for Christmas as well. Just alter the theme slightly, making a memory jar for a specific loved one. You might write down 52 special memories you have of your parent(s) and place them in a memory jar to give as a Christmas gift. If you can find a mini easel, you can include it so they can place your special memory on the mini easel on a kitchen windowsill. Each week, they would select a new memory to enjoy and to perhaps display, to remind them of how their efforts impacted your life, and of how you lovingly remember that effort.

There are probably several ways to do a gratitude or memory jar. For example, I know of one person who did a gratitude tree for Thanksgiving. She used a mini decorative tree and simply attached the notes to the tree. But whether you decide to take up this reflective project or not, do take the time to recall the blessings in your life, both recently and in the past year. Great strengthening for the journey ahead is possible if we purpose to see how His mighty hand was on our lives in days past.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

LONELINESS

All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
(Ah, look at all the lonely people)
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
(Ah, look at all the lonely people)
~The Beatles

Have you ever been in a social setting where many people surrounded you, where you had some logical connection to them and yet you felt alone?

I know I have.

Loneliness is complicated. While an easy definition might include isolation, without companionship, etc., the fact is loneliness is probably easier to describe than to define. In addition to broken or absent relationships, I would certainly describe loneliness as a feeling of being alone, rejected, or alienated in situations where relationships are possible. And that perhaps is the worst kind of loneliness of all.

One of my daughters has a very tender heart for the elderly. I have to wonder if, on some level, she connects with them and understands them in that unique way that is hers. And I know that God could use that to His glory and for her good as well. Recently, this dear child of mine felt very much alone in a social setting. Logically speaking, she should not have felt lonely at all, as she was surrounded by familiar faces. Yet, there she was, struggling with feeling left out, alone.

As her mother, I hurt for her. Recognizing that she was overlooked, I asked her at one point if she would like her brother to join her to keep her company. I couldn't just let her be alone in a crowd, kwim? When she welcomed his company, it confirmed to me the difficult and confusing feeling she was wrestling with (loneliness) but it also revealed the love that my children have for one another. He was willing to be companion and comfort to her, and she was willing to receive him as such. A truly beautiful thing to witness between my children.

Sadly though, I couldn't help her understand why she was excluded (I should note here that many innocent dynamics were involved, including my daughter's own God-given bent, so this is not a judgement of others but rather an acknowledgement of my young daughter's struggle with something we all face in life at some point). I couldn't make it all right for her either, no matter how much my "Mama's heart" wanted to rush in and fix it. I only know that she was hurting, and therefore it deeply hurt me.

I realize my daughter is wired uniquely, which impacts the way she relates to others socially. Yet within her unique wiring, she's intensely creative, passionate about her interests, able to laugh at herself like no one else I know (love that about her), and best of all, she's fiercely loyal. She's a really great person who has already had to face more loss and brutal reality in her life than most kids her age. And while I can't elaborate on that, suffice it to say that as her mother, I know it to be true. And she's a tough cookie because of it.

So, how do I help her? How do you help a child to understand that God clearly sees her worth, knows her intimately, and loves her just as she is?
How do I help her to see that He always holds her and her tender heart clearly in His sight?
How do I make her understand that no one's validation matters more than His? I desire for her to take her worth from God and God alone.
But it's so very hard because she simply does not yet understand the greater picture as I, an older and wiser person, can.
Just as I cannot see that bigger picture of my life as our great God and Father can.
So how do I make her see and understand all these things?
It's not so easy, I can tell you that.
Again, she's just a child.

I'm trying hard to teach her that loneliness can have purpose, that it can serve to draw us closer to God, to really depend on Him to meet our needs.
I want her to know that while she may not be an extrovert at this time, she must try to remain open to the possibility of God placing a new and dear friend in her life at any time, for she has been designed by Him for relationship.
I don't want her to build walls around her heart.
If anything, I want her to learn greater compassion for others who find themselves struggling with loneliness due to death, crisis, age, being orphaned, or social hierarchy.

I pray for my daughter, that she would be able to identify her God-sent friend when the time comes, and to not prejudge who it can or cannot be. I often encourage her to focus on her own strengths as a person, and to be ready to openly share the unique and wonderful person she is with others. But doing this does not come naturally to her. She must be reminded and must work at it.
She is smart, creative, passionate, funny, and so beautiful. She is, in fact, a great human being and I'm blessed to have been chosen (twice over) to be her mother.

Most of all, she is a princess of the King. Now that's worth.

Have you ever struggled with this kind of loneliness, the kind that sets in even though you're in the midst of so many other people?
Did you deal effectively with it? If so, how?

And what steps can we all take to see our way through?
Consider the following:

• Be in the word.
  Make time for the one who will always be there for you, who has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. Build greater intimacy with Him by regularly seeking Him and resting in His promises. Are you currently experiencing a daily quiet time in the scriptures? If not, why not?


• Purpose to see your glass as half full, because it truly is.
  The bible says, in 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
  Have you been able to avoid self-pity? It can be difficult when we feel alone, but thinking on the blessings of God, recalling them, counting them, acknowledging them, and praising Him for them can help us fix our eyes on Him whose glory "far outweighs" our loneliness.


• Bless another.

Instead of sitting back and waiting for your circumstances to change, determine to bless another. Just as my daughter loves the elderly and is glad to bless them by giving them her attention, so too can we bless another. Who better to recognize loneliness than someone who has personally experienced it? And so who better to find a way to bring encouragement to someone who needs it? A handwritten note, a meal delivered, an invitation to coffee or to run an errand. See the need and then commit to meeting it.

And moms, dads, and those who stand in the gap for moms and dads, remember to hug your daughters and sons too.
Validate them with your unconditional love, a living expression of God's gracious and merciful love for them as well.
Pray for them and purpose to point them to Him, always to Him, to find their worth.
Remind them often that their God has promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
For in the darkest of places in this world, He was, is, and always will be there beside us.

Psalm 24:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Just Give Me Jesus.

It's true.
As time marches on, it really does seem to march faster.
At lightning speed, even. Or so it seems (sigh).
And me, being a very, very nostalgic person, I sometimes struggle with the ever increasing passage of days.

Sometimes, I just want to be able to put up my hand and command time to stop.
"Just stop, already, would you?
Stop.
My babies are growing stronger and taller and wiser and older with each passing day. I want you to stop, Time.
Pleeease."

But of course, time doesn't listen. I don't have authority over it the way Jesus did over the waves when He commanded them to stop (and they did).
Like it or not,I must accept that time marches on.
Now, it's easy to accept that fact (with great relief) on the bad days, the days that you just wish would end and are glad when they do.
But on other days, when I'm looking into the beautiful face of one of my children, for example, and I have a sudden rush of love and wanting to hold them close forever, it,...well, it kind of hurts.
(Anyone?)

Where would I be without my faith?

It has carried me through soooo much since I first placed my trust in Jesus.

• Infertility.


• My husband's job elimination back home and the resulting 14 month separation our family had to endure (he worked in Chicago and commuted home to Cleveland during that time).


• A somewhat involuntary move to a new state.


• Health scares.


• Foster care, adoption, and adoption loss.


• Career changes.


• The death of my mother-in-law.


• So. Much. More.

Really, where in the world would I be without Him?

There is sweetness in knowing my God has it all worked out. That He is the author of all time, who created me and the Godly husband and precious children He has so richly blessed me with. That He knows my tender heart on this "issue" of mine, of being a nostalgic person who is sensative to the passage of time. That He assures me through His word of His love for me, of the plans He has for me, that I can in fact be still and know that He is God. He is able to order and purpose my days and the hours that lie within them.

As I type this now, I can hear the tick-tick-tick of the wall clock in the school room behind me. I might never conquer my bittersweet dance with time, both its moving forward and my nostalgic reflecting back, but I'm so grateful to have my strong tower, my comfort, my place of rest. My Savior.

I was able to hear Anne Graham Lotz speak when she was in Cleveland back in 2001 or so. And I think she says it well when she exlaims, "Just give me Jesus." If you've never seen the video below, never heard Anne saying those four words that align so perfectly with my heart's desire, "Just give me Jesus", then please, take just a moment now to allow her words to encourage you today. Be blessed!

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

No Worries

Phew, I do believe dust settled on the keyboards while I was away.
(just a lame excuse for the fact that I failed to dust before we flew out to California this past Tuesday.)

Our trip went well, except for the 4am wake-up (on both ends of the trip), and perhaps the 2 hour lay-over in Chicago that grew to FIVE hours (thank goodness for the blessing of a large, comfortable employee lounge).
Considering that we fly stand-by, I'd sum it up as routine.
No bumps.
No cancellations.
No insurmountable obstacles.
To quote Timon and Pumbaa, "Hakuna Matata." Means, "No worries."

S-C-R-A-T-C-H!

Let's back up on that last one.
No worries?
Um,....I need to be honest here.
The truth is, flying does make me a bit, just a bit (I promise) worried.

Sheesh, you'd think it wouldn't.
I grew up in the airline industry.
My father worked for American Airlines until his retirement, as did my two uncles.
I myself worked in the industry for 14 years, 3 airlines, and 4 different cities.
As a 23 year old living alone and working in San Francisco, having moved out there on my own from Cleveland, I hardly gave a thought to travel safety and often took the 4½ flight back and forth between the two cities.

But then,...things changed.
I got older and wiser.
More aware that the world is often not a safe place.
People can give their hearts to anything, even evil.
September 11th happened.
And I am now a mother, fierce as a bear in my desire to protect my children.

So when we fly these days, I have my children to think about as well.
And I'm faced with the reality that, as I think about so many travel related scenarios, I sometimes struggle with worry.
Not an overwhelming "all-out" struggle, but an uncomfortable struggle just the same.

As I sit here and think about it, fear and control go hand-in-hand.
Because of fear, one can struggle for control.
Some actually use fear to control.
Some end up fearful when they realize they've lost control.
Yep, fear and control definitely tend to run in the same circles.
And fear begins as a seed planted in the mind.
It is not of God, but rather the venom of Satan, a lie.

So I am not about to let my concerns about flying become anything more than a tinge of personal discomfort.

But, how to battle that seed of fear and win?

How?

For me, it begins with prayerful surrender.
"Father, today I choose to be strong and courageous, to acknowledge that you are with me and will not forsake me."
Sound a bit like Deuteronomy 31:6? One of the many benefits of hiding scripture in our hearts is being able to speak its truth and power into our lives in the very moments we need it.
I accept that I am not in control and never really have been.
Not of others.
Not of an airplane.
Not of the very number of my days.

But, oh the comfort of being able to call on the one who is in control, my Heavenly Father, the God and creator of the universe (Gen 1:1).

I also have the power of willful submission.
The bible says, in James 4:7, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
I can't stop Satan from trying to make my mind a battlefield, but I can decide to resist him.
I can refuse his lies.

Your turn.
Where has Satan aimed and hit his mark?
What fear has he seeded in your mind today?
Will you allow it to take root?
If not, then how will you battle it?

Consider this.
You are God's beloved. He calls you His treasure (Deuteronomy 26:18).
Search the scriptures so that, like myself, you can truly grow in the knowledge and confidence of God's overwhelming love for you.
You can then rest in Him, your strong tower. Your place of safety and safe surrender.
And again, in the words of Timon and Pumbaa, Hakuna Matata.
Dig in and discover for yourself the peace that surpasses all understanding.

The Bible, God's very word, my one true source of comfort, in flight and in life.

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

A simple aspect

We are about to enter a glorious time of year here in the midwest, Fall!
Everywhere I look, my eyes will come to rest on the handiwork of our master and creator, God.

For me, autumn is a time of awakening.
My senses are heightened.
The crisp, dew-kissed mornings are followed by the warmth of Indian summer afternoons.
The evenings smell of fallen leaves and fireplaces.
The softness of sweaters compliment the comfort of warm soups.
Apples and pumpkins, cinnamon and nutmeg. All doing their part to appeal to our senses.
And then, of course, there is the show of brilliant color; Amber, ruby and golden.

Even though I truly delight in this particular season, I also find myself awakened to a sense of urgency. I know that as breathtaking and comforting the season is, the long, cold, dark days of winter will follow. Try though I do to take comfort in knowing that winter was also designed by God, I just have to be honest and tell you something...I don't like winter.

I don't.

I'm cold intolerant (literally), don't enjoy winter sports or activities of any kind (well okay, I do like me some indoor hockey), and do not (NOT!) like darkness falling at 5:30 every evening. Clearly, God has a sense of humor, as I was born on the longest night of the year. ;)

This autumn, though, I want it to be different. Really. I have a vision and I hope to fullfill it. I want to turn that negative sense of urgency into purpose. In fact, I want it to draw me closer to the heart of my precious Savior, Jesus. The stage is already being set, as I'm encouraged by my dear sisters in Christ who are part of my Good Morning Girls group. How soothing to open several emails each day that point me in the direction of my goal. Wise women who love Jesus, sharing where they've been in the Word of God that day. Just brief glimpses into their quiet times, but a much greater glimpse into their heart's desire, to draw closer to Him.

I came across a method of studying scripture recently, that has given me fresh eyes for the passages I'm reading. I attended "Just Give Me Jesus" with Anne Graham Lotz several years back, and she introduced a similar method, which I have loved. If you would like to try a new way of approaching your quiet time, or just aren't sure how to approach it beyond prayer and reading, consider this simple "aspect" of being in the word...

A – About God – What can you learn about God through this passage?
S – Sin – Does it talk about any sin?
P – Promise – Is there any promise in the word?
E – Example – Is there any example, I can follow?
C –Command – Which command I need to obey?
T – Teaching – What can I learn from this passage?

I hope your transition into autumn is filled with an awakening of your senses too, that you will experience our Creator in the beauty of His creation. And if, like me, you find yourself experiencing an urgency about the brief (albeit beautiful) passage from summer to winter, may you also sense His desire to draw you ever closer to Him.

Come to think of it, long, cold winter days are pretty ideal for being still before the Lord and for cozying up by the fire with a good book.
THE "good book."

(For more on the aspect study method, go HERE.)

Live wise in Him!~Toni~

Lessons on Endurance

These are hard times we're living in. The national unemployment rate was posted as 9.6% in August (compared with 4.9% in Jan, 2008). Fox News reported today that nearly 1 in every 7 Americans is now considered "poor". It seems that we hear of yet another major employer going out of business every day. And of those who are blessed to still have a job, many are worried about the future.

I don't believe it's much of a stretch to say that many people in our nation are wondering, "What's to be happy about?"

Think about it. In this current economy and culture, what's to be happy about?

Let me back up about 80 years to share my perspective. My grandmother was born in 1910. Her marriage literally got underway at the same time that the Great Depression did. My grandparents were the children of immigrants from Poland. They had 8th grade educations and few skills with which to earn a living for their family. And yet, if you were to listen to my mom's stories from childhood, she was without want.

They raised their children to be hard working, honest, and tough. In fact, my grandparents were all those things and then some. The bible says, in James 1:2-4, Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
Indeed, my grandparents would have their faith put to the ultimate test. I wish I could say that the Great Depression was their great test. I have no doubt it was incredibly challenging, given their lack of education and job skills. But the future held a much greater test for them. The loss of a child. Their first-born child, who died a week after birthing their first grandchild, at the young age of just 26. Her name was Toni and I am her namesake.

My mom was only 13 when her sister, Toni, died. My mom and her family lived in the tiniest coal mining "patch" on a hillside in PA, so everyone felt the loss in one way or another. But no one more than my grandparents. Their daughter had died suddenly and their faith was clearly tested to the core.
My mom describes the pain. The stress. The wounds. The scars. The faith.

In spite of the darkest of darkest days, my grandparents fiercely clung to their faith. I have such wonderful memories of catching my grandfather, when I was just a little girl, sitting at the side of his bed in the early morning light, praying (I have his bible, btw, and it is among the most valuable of all my possessions. I'm tearing up just thinking about its significance right now).

How???

How did they manage such pain and loss without losing their faith? I believe there are two answers and I'd like to share them with you.

First, I am able to look at their lives now in retrospect. The hardships. The loss. The deep, deep faith in spite of very obvious suffering. And I conclude that they were able to successfully and actively defend their faith during those hard times by actively employing the full armor of God. They walked fully immersed in the truth of His word and in rightousness. They held fast to their faith and their salvation. And they prayed. Sometimes I would ask my grandma, after Pap passed away, to pray for me. I had not yet made a decision to embrace Jesus as my Savior, but I do vividly remember feeling comforted by knowing that she, an incredible model of the Proverbs 31 woman, was praying for me. I had no idea back then how much their example would impact my future. What a gift!

The second reason I believe my grandparents persevered in the testing of their faith comes directly from James 1:2-3, Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. My grandparents went through times where happiness was not within reach. But they demonstrated that they knew and had spritual JOY. Unlike happiness, which is dependent on what's happening around us, JOY abides because of the One who lives IN us. My grandparents loved Jesus and allowed the Holy Spirit to reside in their hearts. They experienced the faithfulness of God in their circumstances and acknowledged Him, always acknowledged Him, as Almighty.

I am so very inspired by their lives and their example to me. Through them, I am challenged to immerse myself daily in the Word of God (also known as reading my bible at some point of each day). I am challenged to pray. And I am challenged to experience the joy of the Lord in the midst of my own trials. It's a tall order, to be sure. But my grandparents, humble people of incredible faith, lived up to it. And they walked it out in front of me, just as (I believe) God would have it.

[Note: If you would like to read more about my amazing grandmother and her life and loss on the little hill, I blogged about it HERE. And I speak of the loss of my aunt (and more) HERE.]

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

But Lord, I'm so T-I-R-E-D.

I have friends whose life walks vary. Some, like myself, have chosen to leave careers to be stay-at-home moms or home managers. Others have chosen to persue their careers ambitiously, some with and some without children. A few friends are single and waiting on the Lord regarding the future of their life walk.

Despite the differences in our schedules and routines, there is one common thread that seems to bind us when we discuss daily life. That is, we women often complain of feeling tired.

You too? I'm not surprised. In many ways, we're prone to it. Women are more likely than men to be anemic. We women are wired for emotion too, and let's face it, emotional states can leave us feeling exhausted. We're multi- taskers (that never gets tiring, right?) And then there's the fact that we tend to be thinkers and "fix it, make it better" problem solvers. How many times have you laid awake at night, working a situation out in your mind (as if it could be solved at 2am). Anyone?

As a homeschooling mom of four children, ages 11 down to 3, I've certainly ascribed to feeling tired. This past summer, I spent a considerable amount of time praying, thinking about, and planning for our coming homeschool year. I wanted change, but at the onset of summer I was unclear as to specifically what type of change I was seeking. I mistakenly assumed some things, like thinking a change in our curriculum (which I LOVE) was in order. God was faithful to show me that in fact it was not the curriculum that needed tweaking. He convicted me that basically, it was me who needed tweaked.

For starters, He showed me that while I need to aim high in setting goals for my kids this year, I also need to expect less in terms of their ability to live up to those goal-driven expectations.

They're children.

They're in training.

Sure, some goals might be met quickly. But the vast majority will take time. I realized it is I who needs to adjust my expectations so I can reduce my stress level and respond to their shortcomings appropriately, increasing their training where needed. Relieving that paricular stress load was like a good night's sleep. Ahhh, sweet.

It also became clear to me that our schedule needed tweaking. Now, this is something I do every single year anyway. But I'm not talking about penciling in subjects here and chores there. Rather, I'm referring to letting go of the expectation that, because we homeschool, I can (and therefore must) finish by a certain time each day.

I know, I know. Some of you schedulers are thinking, "That will create MORE stress. Your day will drag on and on and you'll get less accomplished in the chaos."
But I'm not going there.
I'm not allowing for a day that drags on and on without boundaries.

I simply mean that I'm not squeezing our day into a preconceived "time box" this year. No pressure on me to be "done" within a certain number of hours. Our school day is well scheduled (you can find it HERE), yet the end can be as early as 1:30pm or as late as 3pm. If there's a rabbit trail worth hopping down, we're taking the liberty to hop. If I need to set a subject aside because a student needs greater help in a key (three R's) subject, I'm going to enjoy that liberty.

As you can gather, I was a bit of a check-mark stickler in the past. I was quick to believe that not accomplishing every item on our list was somehow selling us short. In reality, insisting on accomplishing every item on our list caused me stress (and thus tiredness). And the fact is, there isn't a student in the world whose educational experience and retention is identical (hence the reality of remedial and gifted programs). I now believe it's really OKAY if we eliminate, substitute, or simplify occasionally.

We are not dilly dallying in the midst of greater flexibility. We work as diligently as ever. And I feel more rested as a result (for the record, my children do as well). ;)

The bible says, in Isaiah 40:29-31, He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

(Okay, I had to laugh just a little at, "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall." Because, yes, when I was a teen I "fell" asleep in a class or two.)

Ladies, we can address this issue of tiredness. A serious examination of self may be in order (remember, it was me who needed the tweaking), but we can take steps to refresh and revive. Think about this...

• Are there unreasonable expecations that you have been placing on yourself or those close to you?
  
• What are you allowing yourself to engage in, in your "spare" time? Too much time on Twitter or Facebook? (Farmville is NOT necessary, y'all) Just a for instance.
  
• Is your daily schedule realistic? Do you even have a daily schedule in place to give flow to your waking hours?
  
• Have you considered making dietary changes that will improve your health and eventually increase your energy level? I'm not talking about "going on a diet." I'm talking about single changes, practiced until they are habit. For example, eliminating soda. Or caffeine. Limiting fast food to twice a month. You get the gist. Taking on one unhealthy diet practice and replacing it with a healthier one, keeping at it until it's habit, then working on another.
  
• If you don't regularly exercise, why not? A 30 minute walk, 3x/week, is doable for example. Our family walks even through midwest winters, as long as the temps are above freezing and the wind isn't too wicked.
  
• Are you taking a little time for you? A little time spent journaling in a quiet spot, a half hour walking in the park alone, or making the effort to put on a little makeup and perfume if you're so inclined, can refresh.
  
• Are you bored? Boredom's fruit is "unchallenged, unfullfilled, and unaccomplished." It can all translate to tiredness (if not feeling down)
  
• And this last one is the most obvious, yet perhaps the most difficult to address, due to habit. ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?

My sisters in Christ, we simply must address that last one. In order to give our best to the things we do and, more importantly, to the people we love, we must address tiredness by getting enough rest. There are so many excuses reasons why we don't. But if you look at your days, eyes wide open (assuming you're not falling asleep, lol), I believe you can find ways to eliminate wasted time; time that could be dedicated to better rest.

What we cannot overlook, absolutely CANNOT overlook, is what the bible says. We who hope in the Lord will renew our strength. This means we have confident expectation that the will of God will prevail. But how can we know what the will of God is? By regularly immersing ourselves in His word, of course. And how can we regularly immerse ourselves in His word if we're too tired? I can't speak for you, but for me, it just doesn't work without adequate rest.

Be challenged. Take a hard and honest look at your tiredness. Pray and ask God to reveal to you where you need "tweaked" so that you can in fact renew your strength. The rest is up to you (pun intended).

Live wise in Him!

~Toni~

Let's begin!

Welcome, welcome, welcome!
After blogging for several years at IN THE MIDST OF THIS SEASON, I am so excited to begin a new blogging chapter here at THE WISE WOMAN. This scripture is one that I have been pondering in my heart for some time now, and it is with conviction that I decided to make it the focus of my new blog.

I enjoy writing.
I always have.
It's what first drew me to the world of blogging.
And I also enjoy the grounding that journaling brings to my heart and mind.
A place for my thoughts and experiences to rest, KWIM?
I do hope, by keeping this new blog, to accomplish these things.

But I also hope it will serve me in my own focus on becoming a wise woman in the building of my house (phew, can't we all use a little help in that regard? I know I can.) I desire to be a helper to my husband. I desire to be an encourager to my children (especially in the hope of seeing them walk in the truth and light of Jesus). And I desire to be a blessing to our home. Some days, I think I come close to accomplishing those desires. Other days,......not so much. Thankfully, I am the Potter's work in progress. Thankfully, He is not finished with me, just as I am not finished with the "building of my house."

If you have taken the time to stop by, I do hope you leave here encouraged or blessed in some way for having given me a precious moment out of your day.
THANK YOU!
And welcome!

Live wise in Him!
~Toni~